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A bit of dialogue

Being a writer, I write. Most of it is in my head and never sees paper (or pixels, as the case may be), but it's writing nonetheless. Keeping the muscles toned, as it were.

Well, today, when thinking about a potential conflict, this exchange popped into my head (with due credit given to Winston Churchill, Bessie Braddock, and Mark Rogers*):

ANTAGONIST: You're an idiot.
PROTAGONIST: That may be, but you're a dick. And one of these conditions is curable.


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*author of the Samurai Cat comics

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
whswhs
Mar. 1st, 2014 08:26 pm (UTC)
I think the linguistic stratum of "That may be" is too elevated for the rest of the sentence, and works to undercut its bluntness. To my ear, at least, it would sound better if you used the more vernacular "Maybe so" at the start.
ebenbrooks
Mar. 1st, 2014 08:29 pm (UTC)
Ah, yeah, you have a point there. Thanks. :)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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